Funny Journalism

Its been almost a month, I just haven't had much to say. Been busy working and out of town for some of it. Paying attention to snowagedon that didn't happen. But this... this inspired me to return to my days of blogging.

I'm not sure if this sentence will still be there when you look at the link, but its amazing. Doesn't msnbc pay anyone to read their stories BEFORE they post them. Maybe kick a few bucks in the pocket of an English major who has a greater IQ than spell check?

Read the sentence that starts with "If you work with a recruiter....". I'll wait while you read it.... la la la la la la la... finished?

"it's easier for them to get the poop on why you got the heave ho"

Excuse me? Did you mean scoop, instead of poop?

Horrible journalism. But it is a sign of the times. Spell check wouldn't have found a problem with this word, because poop is a word too.

This is my laugh for the day.

Save the World!

This man is doing the world a favor. One ugly green Ford Escort at a time.

Seems as if in the town of Medford, Oregon, an arsonist has torched 3 ugly Escorts all by putting flammable liquids on the car.

Thank you to the wonderful person who is ridding the world of these ugly monsters.

Could you come to my town and take care of the multi colored cars? Thanks.

OMGWTFMCNUGGETS

So another stupid person story. They just never get old.

So you're cruising up to McDonald's and you pay for a delicious 10 piece order of Chicken McNuggets. You pay for the tasty morsels of heaven and proceed to the 2nd window. But alas! The unsympathetic woman at the window tells you they are out of McNuggets! No refund will be given, all sales are final at McDonald's.

The employee offers you a McDouble! (Which is a rip, only one slice of cheese for 2 patties. This throws off the cheese to patty equilibrium). What is a person to do?

Well this moron calls 911 not once, not twice, but three times. The woman calls police and reports, "If I would have known they didn't have McNuggets, I wouldn’t have given my money, and now she wants to give me a McDouble, but I don’t want one. This is an emergency."

That call to police will cost her some Chicken McNuggets as she was citied on a "misuse of 911 charge". In the interest of PR, she will be getting a coupon for a free meal at McDonald's.

Guess where this happened in? Mmmm...Cali? No... NYC? Podunk, ND? Nope. Florida. That's right Florida. George W Bush's favorite state, the great state of morons. This was not some retired grannie either, this woman was 27. Bet she was breast fed while her mother ate Big Macs.

Intelligence isn't one of the glowing traits about this country anymore.

Idiots Raising Children

There is a reason that so many children are growing up and doing stupid things. They are being raised by stupid people. This story is just appalling.

A woman in Ohio has been charged with child endangerment for breast feeding her child while driving a car and talking on a cell phone. Another motorist witnessed this and called police. The woman faces an $1800 fine and 180 days in jail.

This isn't some stupid teenager, this woman is 39 years old. 39! By this age, you would think a person would have a good amount of common sense. Apparently not.

Unless she is an octo-mom (sorry for the reference), how could she possibly pull this off? It takes at least one hand to hold a child and hopefully one was on the wheel. Then she has the distraction holding a cell phone and carrying on a conversation.

This is completely irresponsible. She has been quoted as saying that she "wouldn't let her child go hungry". Well then pull the car over, feed your child safely and place the child back in his/her car seat and continue driving. If she were in a wreck, the baby would have died.

Stupid people shouldn't be allowed to raise children.

4 Day School Week

Missouri is considering a measure which would allow public schools to adopt a 4 day school week. The hours of school on Monday - Thursday would be extended to 8 hours to meet the state's requirement for the amount of instruction children must receive.

There are many pros and cons to this idea.

Pros

• School Districts would spend less money on diesel and maintenance for busses
• Schools would save on power bills by only having to maintain a reasonable temperature on 4 days instead of 5
• Teachers would have a full day of planning time to grade paper and prepare for lessons.

Cons

• Maintaining focus for 8 hours a day is difficult for younger children
• High school students will have less opportunities for jobs due to a later release time
• *** The big con*** Parents who work (don't they all???) will have to find day care for their child on Fridays. Many day cares will not accept a child just one day a week.
• Most students that receive free breakfast and lunches at school might go hungry
• Some parents won't be able to afford day care for one day and will leave children unattended before they are old enough to care for themselves. Care might fall to an older sibling and children will end up roaming the streets with nothing to do. (A bad situation).

The measure will allow individual school districts the choice on the number of days of instruction. Rural schools whose busses travel thousands of miles a day will benefit the most from the reduction in gas.

However, it will be hard for children to adjust to this type of a schedule and will leave many families scrambling to find care for their children.

This measure needs to be fully considered and will have severe backlash from communities.

What do you think?

Blago on Letterman

"I didn't do some of the things they accused me of doing" - Rod Blagojevich

Enough said. Sure he'll claim that is taken out of context, but his slips say that he is guilty. His actions say he's guilty. His media blitz says he's guilty.

I agree with Letterman that the more he says he isn't guilty, the less I believe him.

What do you think?

Jokes of the day

These aren't mine... taken from quoted sources

David Letterman: "Its Cold outside. Wow. So cold, remember that woman who had eight babies? They went back in."

A few Blagojevich jokes: ( : These get better and better : )

Blagojevich is the lego man!

From Stephen Colbert: Blagojevich as he arrives at his impeachment hearing.

Jay Leno: "And a new study finds that it takes humans 30% longer to lie than it does to tell the truth. See, that's why political speeches are so long."

Jay Leno: "And a new study finds that it takes humans 30% longer to lie than it does to tell the truth. See, that's why political speeches are so long."

From Jay Leno: "And freezing cold weather in Washington this week. The roads are so icy, Al Gore almost didn't make it to his global warming speech today."

A Coincidence?

Picture courtesy of CNN

Sasha and Malia Obama have become instant celebrities as they are part of the First Family. Living in the White House will cause them to endure moments of their life in the spotlight.

Ty, the infamous maker of Beanie Babies, has created two new dolls. Their names are "Sweet Sasha" and "Marvelous Malia". Mama Bear Obama isn't too happy about her children's names and appearances being transformed into a doll. Michelle Obama has called the dolls "inappropriate".

Ty Company released a statement saying they do not specifically name dolls after "any particular living individual". They refuse to release their source for the idea of the doll's name.

How could this just be a coincidence?

What do you think?

Go back to Alaska...

Anyone who talked politics with me during the election, knows that I am not a fan of Sarah Palin. Don't get me wrong, having a woman in the White House would have been a monumental occasion, but I hope we'll have to wait for another contender to come around.

In an effort to keep her name in the media, Sarah Palin berated the media for making false statements about her children. Rather than just ignore the comments, she is continuing the parading of her children.

What mother brings a new infant to an event such as a national convention. Let's not bring up the issue of the youngest member of the Palin child. I will not contribute to the rumors.

Sarah Palin needs to stay in Alaska and spend her free time moose hunting, not berating the media for something that she caused.

Who agrees with me?

A Day in History

My parents can tell you where they were at significant moments in history... the landing on the moon, the assassination of John F. Kennedy, when Elvis died...

For my generation, these moments used to include significant moments such as September 11, 2001 and the explosion of the Columbia space shuttle. And now where we were on January 20, 2009, the day that the United States of America inaugurated the first black man as President.

It is hard for me to not be hopeful that this man has the resolve to move this country in the direction that it needs to go. The Obama world will be a much better place for my children to live in.

His message of personal responsibility will hopefully motivate more Americans to serve their country, not necessarily in the military, but in their own communities. Reading to our children instead of watching TV, donating our time to causes and looking out for our neighbor.

This is a truly historic day in American history. Though it will mean nothing if the promises made during the many months of campaigning aren't kept. Our new President has made many promises that will be tough to keep such as restoring the economy, ending the war in Iraq and restoring America's position in the world.

It is up to every American to do their part.